i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
