hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
