We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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