Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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