weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
