their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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