we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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