We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
