Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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