have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I need to align my fucking chakras
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
