Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
