After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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