they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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