ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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