you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
