you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
