I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
