so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
