I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
