It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
