are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm sobbing to NWA
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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