Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We talked him into tasing himself.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
