Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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