im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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