he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
