Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
