i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
