Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
