Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
