My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
