i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
