i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
