Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
