Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
