i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
