We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
