Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
