All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
