I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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