okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
