I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
