better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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