I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
