I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
