well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
