Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Randomize
