I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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