I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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