Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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