I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
