I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
